![]() That feeling returned when I heard the news of Chris Cornell’s suicide in 2017. I felt the gravity of that situation, realizing that I almost died, too. For the first time in years, I thought about when I passed out in science class. I envisioned Weiland’s lifeless body on his tour bus. I couldn’t stop thinking, This could have been prevented. It felt like someone had stuck a pin in it. When I heard the news, I grabbed my heart. Scott Weiland died on his tour bus in 2015, five days after I quit drinking. In my sobriety, drug-related deaths began affecting me differently. True to his heavy metal roots he said, “Yeah… it’s like life is turned up to 11!” We laughed, on the same sober journey together. I remember calling my dad, who’s now sober, asking him if he’d experienced these sensations, too. Colors were brighter, sounds were louder, feelings were stronger. In my first few months of sobriety, I experienced what’s called a “pink cloud” – life at a higher frequency. I finally got clean at age 30, documenting my entire journey along the way on my blog, SobrieTeaParty. I went on to abuse drugs and alcohol for fifteen more years. I was an only child who desperately needed guidance, and I settled for drugs instead. My mother (his former groupie/music trivia aficionado) was there physically but preoccupied with her own mental demons. My father (a heavy metal musician) was in and out of my life at the time, dealing with his own depression and alcohol abuse. I passed out in science class from a near overdose on Xanax and Hydrocodone and got expelled during junior year. I didn’t know it at the time, but my sophomore year would be my last traditional year of high school. I’m just like everybody else.”Ĭornell’s quote resonated with me on a personal level. Then I ended up having as bad a problem as anyone’s going to have and still be alive. I was pretty sure that nothing like that would ever happen to me. I didn’t eat, I drank a lot, I started taking pills, and at some point you just get sick of it. So I went through a couple of years of depression again. And then when my personal life got out of hand, I just got loaded. I was pretty reliable I took care of business. I’d had several years of being in control of my alcoholism. “At first to prescription medication and then to pretty much everything. Cornell shared about his addiction in a now infamous 2006 Spin interview: ![]() He had been sober for thirteen years before relapsing, just months before his suicide. The frontman for Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, and Audioslave had openly discussed his struggle with substance abuse, depression, and panic attacks that started when he was 14. May 18th marks two years since the world lost Chris Cornell. This week, Tawny Lara navigates sobriety with a reminder from a musician who lost his battle with addiction. ONLY NOISE explores music fandom with poignant personal essays that examine the ways we’re shaped by our chosen soundtrack.
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